PsychoWyco Run Toto Run

"I am yours, and you are mine" - PsychoWyco

The race director's instructions were to eat a lot in the early parts of the race, or else you will experience the "bonk" around mile 15. I am clearly a child who doesn't listen, or forgets immediately afterwards.

The PsychoWyco Run Toto Run course has to be one of the toughest non-mountain courses in the country. In 8 degree temperatures, it was like running on jagged concrete up ten flights of winding stairs, and then back down. And when the frozen horseshoe divets subsided, they were replaced by wicked rocks. Oh, there were some flat stretches, but it was up the side of a dam...at an angle.

The aid stations are like mini-parties, and everyone is invited. They have anything and everything. Every single aid station asked what a runner needed, what could they get them, how were they doing...amazing! It was 10 degrees outside and these people were de-icing water, and handing out chips and candy. It's no wonder they say you can burn a lot of time at the aid stations...why would you want to leave?

The course itself is mostly a bridle trail, that clearly beat up a  lot of horses. And after the horses left, a bunch of runners showed up. And if you focus too much on the course, you are bound to forget something, or least I did. This is one of the multi-faceted sides of running. It's not just putting one foot in front of the other...yes at it's simpliest it is...but rather a combination of knowing your body before and during the race, what it needs, and what it will need to get you through to the finish. What was it the race director said prior to the race...something about eating? I had forgotten.

In my first attempt at a 50k, I had prepared as best as I thought possible. I was still charged from my first marathon, and I was ready to move up in distance. I carried a waist pack with one water bottle, and 7 GUs. When I ran out of either, I would refill at the aid stations, and be on my way. The less I walk, the better for my legs, or else I can get the cramps something fierce.

A large group kicked off across a short field and onto the trail. I kept an easy pace through most of the first 10 mile lap, running nearly all the hills in short, choppy steps. I felt excellent, really. A fellow runner from Nebraska, who was aiming for a 6 hour finish said we were right at a 2 hour pace. "Perfect", I told him. But on the inside, I had expected it to be a little faster.

There was only one place, shortly after mile 4 where I had a mis-step. I wicked tree had toppled over, and as I step high to cover it, I felt a strain in the top of my right ankle. It kind of hurt, but not bad, but bad enough that I thought, I will be sure to avoid that again!

As I came around the end of the first 10 miles, I felt the first twinge of a cramp in my thigh. Now, for a road runner, I have never, ever cramped in my thigh. I am not even sure what the thigh really does. It's just another place for a tattoo for me. No matter, I was feeling relaxed, and pretty good. Over a short incline and onto a very different looking trail, the cow bells were ringing. I looked up, and I saw the timer as it read 1:40...wow...a pleasant surprise! This was easier than I thought, or what I had convinced myself.

You see, I don't wear a watch anymore...I prefer to adjust to how I am feeling, rather than stress over time. By the way, I am hypocrite, because time is very important to me. It is like a Christmas present. I know what I want, and if I don't get it, I am disappointed. But I make no effort to find out beforehand what it is. I like to be pleasantly surprised.

The Psycho Wyco Run Toto Run winter edition is a three loop course (for the 50k runners), so there are 2 chances to quit. I don't mean that in offense to anyone who dropped to a lower distance...I just prefer there be no chance to quit. "Lead us not into temptation..." There is some symbolism here.

At the start / finish, the aid station had water, other liquids, chips, snacks, candy...all the things for which my girls would want to run! I stopped to re-tie my shoes, since after my feet de-thawed, I was sliding around in my shoes and probably had a blister. I grabbed for a GU, but it was just as hard as the one in my hand. THE ONE IN MY HAND! I had been carrying around a GU trying to get it to warm up since mile 5, and hadn't taken anything else but a few sips of water. I ate a few M&Ms, a pringle, and set off for round / lap 2. Time for the second GU, which was still like taffy.

During the first lap, I kept thinking about how nice it would be to not have so many runners directly in front of me, just so I could see where I was going. This would enable me to move through the frozen concrete / jagged rocks more easily. Now that I was alone, it didn't really make that much difference. My thighs had started to cramp a bit more, and I was not stepping as lightly as I wanted. I shifted to a tip-toe form, trying to keep my feet off the ground as much as possible. But as I came down, I felt I was "dropping" too much weight onto my feet, causing my thighs to absorb more than they could handle. The trail was beating me up.

Remember the place where I had a mis-step on the first loop? Well, I found it again...same foot, same result, except this time, it hurt more. I cursed out loud. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I ran alone for most of the 2nd loop. It was peaceful to start...up and down, up and down over the frozen ground. But the peace didn't last long. I started to rationalize, to think...and that can be dangerous to a runner. I tried praying, but the demon of doubt was already there. My water bottle had froze, and I couldn't get a drop out of it. Somewhere around half-way (mile 15-ish), I stopped to bang the bottle on the rocks. The lid was even frozen shut. Good grief. I had consumed 2 GU and only half my original water.

I was in disbelief. How could I have been so stupid? I'm not making excuses, just the facts. I had completely blew my nutrition for this race. And now it seemed too late. The freaking race director even spelled it out for us...provided aid stations. I struggled to get through the final 5 miles to mile 20. When I reached the last aid station (manned by someone I recongnized from a blog...Rick Mayo, maybe?) at 7.2 miles (roughly, I believe), I thought I should ask for advice. Next thing I knew, I was drinking frozen Gatorade (or something like it), water, and something salty. I had already decided I was done. My legs were in full cramps, now joining my thighs were my hamstrings.

The back half of PsychoWyco is just as brutal as the first half, yet still fun. Let me qualify "fun". I am transported to my childhood when we were on vacation, running through the forest playing some game, and the real world was far away. Fun. Ooh, another hill - climb, climb, and then bam, a downhill run. I passed some 10 milers, and some others in the last 2.8 miles. But I had already quit. I was irritated and dissappointed with myself. I had this in the bag...I wasn't even tired. But the cramps were fierce and my stomach ached. I was now faced with the possibility of an injury, which is entirely unacceptable.

I decided that if I was over 3:30 for the 20 miler, I was done. I came through the brush, to see 3:36. Crap-ass. It's like the course knew me, and gave me what I deserved. I didn't eat nearly enough, didn't drink, and succombed. I let the race director know I was dropping. The day was over.

I was in disbelief at what had happend. I am smarter than this, so how could I forget something so basic? The course is beautiful, unforgiving, inspiring...and it will own you if you let it. As I sat in my Jeep, rubbing at my bloodless fingertips, I watched white-bearded runners continue on with their yellow bibs attached.

So what are the positives? I am blessed to be able to run, and to run whenever I want (before the kids wake up anyway). I spent the freezing morning accomplishing something most people won't even consider. I ran 20 miles in the beautiful Wyco park, and even took home a medal for my effort. How do I feel about this race? I feel blessed. If it wasn't for the failures in life, I might never succeed.

So what do you do after an event like this? I signed up for the PschoSummer Run Toto Run 50k.

Matt